PROS:
It went great. We expressed ourselves, got our messages through and looked amazing, my original outfit turned out just like my drawing!
CONS:
My whole other outfit malfunctioned on the day, the dress ripped and the clip of the headpiece got stuck. So l only had one outfit which is completely fine, it just sucked that l could’t express that other side or other narrative of myself which l explained previously in my blog, for it was meant to captivate the audience the most.
The biggest con however, was disorganisation , l gave Helen the wrong background audio for my turn of the performance. It was meant to be a shorter version of the poem with background music that you can see here: link
Due to their similar names l confused an audio of me practicing with the final version. So that in itself disorientated my timing and l fumbled a bit. Prevented me from performing confidently or how l intended.
It felt like what it was , 50% of what l work towards went in the bin due to procrastination towards the end: All the practice walks and symbolic gestures meant nothing which l just find hilarious in that sense.
I’ve struggled with procrastination throughout my life, to a point where is sometimes takes my life. Up until now working ‘hard’ and prioritising getting work ‘complete’ and staying up late worked out in the end, but I believe this is a hard wake up call proving how essential it is to prioritise health and manage time properly, to not indulge in perfectionism. I realise in a professional environment you cannot work that way
I was only late for an houron the day but lf l was present for the 10 minute runthrough that 10 minutes alone would have made all the difference because l would have realised my errors and actually be mentally and spiritually prepared. But the great thing is that the audience does not know my mistakes , so the runway performance still went great.
I think back to what our guest ( ) said ‘ what you think is rubbish sounds amazing to others’ and its true, that other 50% of what l worked towards that l managed to perform seems like 100% to anyone else. I have supportive group mates and supportive classmates who reassured me it was okay and found myself in a very different achedemic environment compared to what lm used to, where l would tend to aim higher or face consequence. Theres no need to fulfil uneccesary things l set for myself and get into habits of procrastination, just have balance. So whilst l regret those mistakes l am so glad they happened because it pushes me to change my perceptive of creating work and the course of my future in a beneficial way.
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